Mallard’s Musical Mayhem: Trevor Mallard Knighted in New Zealand Honours List 2024

Former Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard has been knighted in the New Zealand Honours List 2024 for his “creative ways of expressing anger” during his tenure

Sir Trevor Mallard, now known as the “Knight of Creative Anger,” was recognised for his unique approach to conflict resolution, which ranged from pinching a crying baby during Parliament, to blasting opera music at anti-vaccine protestors outside the Parliament

“It all really began in 2009 when Helen Clarke summoned me to an anger management course, and there I learned creative ways to express my anger,” Mallard explained. “These muptards just camped outside my House and wouldn’t wanna leave. Bloody muptards”

River of Freedom Director, however, has voiced strong objections to Mallard’s knighthood, claiming it “exposes a virus that has infiltrated our institutions”

Despite the controversy, Sir Trevor Mallard remains unapologetic about his methods. “Sometimes you just have to think outside the box to get rid of pesky protestors,” he said. “Dame Kiri Te Kanawa’s music was the perfect weapon”

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